Telling it like it is:
Here are some interesting children’s answers to church school questions – from the Anglican Church:
• Noah’s wife was called Joan of Arc.
• Henry VIII thought so much of Wolsey that he made him a cardigan.
• The fifth commandment is “humour thy father and mother.”
• Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
• Holy acrimony is another name for matrimony.
• The pope lives in a vacuum.
• The patron saint of travellers is St. Francis of the sea sick.
• Abraham begat Isaac and Isaac begat Jacob and Jacob begat 12 partridges.
• The natives of Macedonia did not believe, so Paul got stoned.
• The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
• It is sometimes difficult to hear what is being said in church because the agnostics are so terrible.
From a survey that asked children their definition of love:
When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails any more. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.
Rebecca, age 8
Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.
Karl, age 4
Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends after they know each other so well.
Tommy, age 6
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Chrissy, age 6